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W.O.E. #19: Bitch Ring

I suppose that New York has never lost its affinity for the three- and four-finger rings of early 1980s hip-hop culture. And I suppose that the misaligned spacing and levels signify one's badness of attitude versus badness of crafting ability.

Price: $72.00

Origin: New York, USA

W.O.E. #18: Guantanamo Baby Bag

Of all the alleged atrocities to occur at the US government's infamous detention camp, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, this has to be the worst. Dick Cheney himself has come out against this type of treatment as saying, "That's f-ing sick."

Price: $85.00

Origin: Canada

W.O.E. #17: Papier-mâché Devil 

You've seen Etsy, right? The key word is "cute." Someone, somewhere, at some point needs to be able to say, "Aw, lookithowCUUUUUTE!" A green glitter tongue and mismatched silver horns just ain't gonna make it in this cutthroat world, kid.

Price: $4.00

Origin: Unknown

W.O.E. #16: Found Objects with Glue

Interview with the artist:

WOE: Ray, do you know how much a candy bar costs?
Ray: 'Bout a hundred dollars.
WOE: Do you know how much one of those new compact cars costs?
Ray: 'Bout a hundred dollars.
WOE: And how much are you going to charge for that new sharktooth-and-antler-glued-to-a-rock piece, Ray?

Price: $100

W.O.E. #15: Super Cool Skull Ring for American Teenager

Thailand's best is showcased here with this stunning reproduction of a ring worn by Asian royalty. Made of the finest "brass," this ring is guaranteed to not turn your finger green until the varnish wears off.

Is the design over the top? We don't think so! The realistic skull looks right at home with the 1980s sunglasses. And what a smile!

Buy now! This ring would be the perfect compliment to your calculator watch.

Price: $20

W.O.E. #14: Portrait of the Artist as a Dead Girl

It seems that someone had a double major in Art History and Economics. The works of an artist go up in value after his/her death. Simple supply and demand.

However, it doesn't work when A) you're still alive and 2) you're selling your own paintings.

Price: $60

Origin: Wisconsin, USA

W.O.E. #12: Fabric Baby Torture Device

What a pretty little princess!

-She can't crawl in that, but isn't she pretty?
-She spit up on the ruffles three times today, but how cute!
-She has scratches from the cheap tulle, but she looks adorable!
-I just can't wait to pierce her ears so we can buy some cute earrings on Etsy!

Price: $19.49

Origin: Unknown

W.O.E. #11: Pickle Innuendo Painting

This creator offers an 8x8" acrylic original for the low, low price of $12.95, including shipping. But wait, there's more! If you call now, you get creepy references to circumcision, vegetable sex, an imaginary Beach Boys concert and much more. But you've got to act now!

What can we expect from this seller in the future? Bananas? Melons? Perhaps an oversized zucchini... let's just assume that it will make us skip the salad at dinner tonight.

Price: $12.95

W.O.E. #10: Jesus 9/11 Greeting Card

Let's imagine, for a moment, what sort of greeting might be appropriate for this card.

• Surprise! Jesus Undid It!
• Happy 9/10
• Welcome to New York, nestled near Mt. Jesus
  

Price: $2

Origin: Wisconsin, USA

W.O.E. #9: Headband with 2 Buttons

Dear Mom and Dad,

How are you? I am fine. Camp is really fun. We went horseback riding. My horse's name was Popcorn. Today we made crafts, and I made my own headband. My new friend Jennie W. said it was pretty enough to sell on Etsy.

Are you coming for Parent Night?

Love,
Abby

P.S. I used felt and yarn and buttons and glue.

Price: $12

W.O.E. #8: Homemade Cat Paw Sex Toy
-Submitted by @gabek

It's a well-known fact that pink terrycloth gloves are a turn-on for many people... it's the sharpened banjo picks that are a mystery on this piece.

Sharpened? Did the creator think that banjo picks themselves were not an adequately dangerous item to be used in sex play? There's no mention of S+M in the actual description, but I suppose it's in-furred. (Sorry.)

Price: $25

Origin: Unknown

W.O.E. #7: Squirrel Paw Earrings
-Spotted by @yogacowgirls

Modern society is so wasteful. Native Americans used the whole squirrel for body decoration.

Price: $20

Origin: Louisiana, USA

W.O.E. #6: Mexican Skull Angel w/Tattoo

This is simply a case of someone not knowing when to stop. The tattoo by itself would have been somewhat clever for the junk-shop paint-it-yourself pendant.

Angel + tattoo + skull + Day of the Dead treatment = just too much.

I imagine that the creator has a lot of tattoos that they'll regret in a few years. Maybe even a Mexican skull angel...

Price: $24.99

Origin: Pennsylvania, USA

W.O.E. #5: Zombie Sister Planters

Brains. Plants. No, wait, brains.

These three planters will creep anyone out. Set them on your desk at work, and you'll notice a rapid decrease in the number of people asking you to rush something through, stop using the copier for personal use and to take your lunch break early so they can take their daughter to dance class.

Price: $29 (for set)

Origin: New Mexico, USA

W.O.E. #4: Feather Bra/Vest

Imagine the businesswoman on the go. A constant stream of e-mails and important conference calls. What will she wear when she meets friends for drinks and dancing after a long day at the office?

The answer is in this explosion of feathers attached to a smart, four-button vest/bra combo. Nothing says, "I make my own money" like a gray power-feathervest.

No, you don't get the matching hat.

Price: $65

Origin: California, USA

 W.O.E. #3: Dog-faced Girl Embroidery

We can all agree that there is some craftsmanship in this piece. The stitching looks decent, if uneven, and the sunburst is a nice touch.

The eyes are poorly done, unless the creator was striving for a Dog-Faced Girl with Lazy Eye. It looks like they're sliding off of the face.

There are several nice touches here: the hairy chest, glove-like coverage on the arms, the butterfly bows...

But they're not enough to tie everything together. This design is a poorly-conceived mashup of two of our favorite things: portraits of innocent little girls and portraits of shaggy dogs.

Will there be more of these? Maybe the next Dog-faced Girl will be more satisfying.

Price: $10

Origin: Unknown

W.O.E. #2: Hello Kitty Dominatrix Christmas Ornament

Hello Kitty as we never imagined and could have lived without. HK has all the proper dom warbrobe and gear: black bra and panties with garters and the ever-classy bullwhip.

All made better by the fact that it was intended to be hung on a tree in someone's living room.

Of course, one can only wonder about the identity of "MeG." Could it be the creator? Kinky former lover? Stalkee?

Price: $5

Origin: Texas, USA

W.O.E. #1: Ugly Peanut Baby

From the glitter-splattered acorn cap to the bottom of its little pink pipecleaner feet, this baby screams, "Put the glue gun down!"

The garish, blobby lips... the leftover plastic googly eyes... these are features that only a mother could love. And even then, it would be a stretch.

Can you image the inspiration behind this? It had to be chemically-induced.

Price: $20

Origin: New York, USA